Take a punch.

Today I was talking to my friend Sheldon about getting a job at a liquor store.*

*I REALLY NEED A JOB :(

He told me that I could hit on all the freshly legal young men that come in to buy their 26s of captain morgan's.

"Oh that's too old for me, I like 'em young" - Quote Larissa.

He calls me out on this, as I think everyone knows I have a clear affinity for old celebrity men, ie: Edward Norton and Daniel Craig.

"No, I've changed my mind, I need a young teenage boy whom I can control." I says

"Oh, well in that case, I'll pass your number on to every teenage boy I meet." - Sheldon

"As long as they're ready to take a few backhands and refer to me as THE ENFORCER."

"..."

"I don't just date, I INTIMI-DATE."

I should probably trademark that phrase.

COOOOOUUUUUGARRRRR.

But srsly, if any 16 year old boys are reading this: No.