Halloween

I think it may not come as a surprise to most people that my life is filled with fail.

FAIL.

This weekend's issues involved mostly sleep deprivation, but also a bit of HUGE bruises on my knees from falling onto a hardwood floor during a limbo contest, a touch of locking TWO sets of keys in my car at a hall party, thus locking mine and HB's jackets in the car as well, waiting freezing in the cold for half an hour for a cab, locking HB and I myself out of my house, and having my phone die all in one night.

BUT I DO FINE, I DO FINE.

In reality Matt picked up both our asses up, provided us with clothes and housing and used his AMA membership to get my keys and ship our asses back to my car in the morning...

BUT I DO FINE, OKAY.

This year I decided to dress as Super Mario for school, a Bull/Big Horn Sheep for Friday, and the regular nurse costume on Saturday.

I realize the nurse costume is a little uncreative, but sometimes the pickup-line-put-down opportunities are too great to put this one away yet.

Naturally I was pretty upset at the hall party due to the aforementioned incident of no sleep and no keys, so perhaps I was a little more sassy than necessary:

"Nurse, I feel sick."

"Go puke then."

"Wow, you're a bitch."

"/shrug"

"Nurse, I think I'm having a heart attack!"

"Sorry, I'm off duty tonight."

"Nurse, I think I hurt my arm!"

"Honestly man, I don't know shit, this is just a costume."

Tale of horrible consequence

My life is always "horrible consequence" this, "horrible consequence" that.

This tale doesn't take much introduction.
I drive a '97 Escort. Its a pretty ballin' car. The most ballin' part about it is the tape deck adapter I use to listen to my iPod.

I don't listen to the radio.
I am FM-deficient, I know little about top 40, unless I'm dancing to Apple Bottom Jeans at the bar, as previously stated.

For the last year I've been doing really well with my tape deck. We have fantastic singalongs and the sound quality is superb. But lately the stereo has been randomly ejecting the tape non stop.
Usually I can right this issue by warming the tape up on the heat vents and periodically pressing the "TAPE" button when I hear it start to get angry. (The stereo and me, we're quite emotionally connected.)

BUT TODAY MAN. TODAY WAS NOT MY DAY.
It wouldn't work at all! Ejecting every 2 seconds, no lie.
I spent half the ride home screaming at the top of my lungs at this thing because it makes me SO ANGRY. Few things make me that angry but this issue has gone on LONG ENOUGH. I start spitting strings of profanity I didn't even know existed.

God damn piece of shit cheap fucking chinese manufacturing!

Its just unbearable for me. I yelled myself into silence then rode in silence for about 5 minutes until I made the executive decision to destroy my tape deck adapter.
Yes, I know, maybe it was just an off day for the stereo, and it would have worked tomorrow, but I decided to focus on therapy instead of logic.

I look at the stereo, and I say to it: I am going to stomp the shit outta you when we get home.
JUST YOU WAIT, TAPE.
I ride home in a zen like state. Park the car. Walk up to my back door, calmly pick up a crow bar, and go to town.

My mother comes to the doors and asks what the hell I'm doing.
"Its been a rough ride home, Mom"



But now I definitely have to buy a new tape deck adapter.