TAKE ME AWAY, ALADDIN!

Today's entry is going to be a short entry.

Today Matt and I went to Tim Horton's in the local Esso station to pick up lunch.
[For anyone wondering how their new lasagna casserole is: mediocre]
[[For anyone who reads my blog and for some reason isn't from Canada: TIM HORTONS IS THE SHIT and VERY RELEVANT. ALL THE TIME.]]

As we walk towards the counter, Matt points out that the slurpee machine next to the counter is blowing air out of it's fan.
The slurpee machine is blowing air at floor level, towards a mat in front of the Tim Hortons counter.
AND
AND
AND?
The carpet is wavin' around blowing in the artificial wind like a magic carpet.
Matt must understand how these tiny miracles amuse me, and he says "Hey, check out the mat." (Aside: He says check out the MAT, not MATT, because I don't like cocky guys who speak in third person, PHEW.)

I let out a little squeal of excitement.

And we walk up to the counter, Matt stands aside while he places the order, and I stand square in the middle of the mat.
And I look up at Matt when he's done ordering, and say:
"ITS A WHOLE NEW WOOOORRRRLLLLLD"

Cool story

HELLO WORLD.
I woke up 2 hours before my alarm today LIKE A BOSS.

Yesterday I wore my new toque to school. Its knitted out of rainbow yarn and I think it adds a bit of happiness to this HORRIBLE WINTER WEATHER.

So I'm sittin' in class, right?
Right.
So I'm sitting in my usual spot near the back of the class by the window, because:

1. The radiator is there and its warm, &
2. I'm too lazy to sit up straight so I like to lean on the wall and daydream

Sometime during the lecture my instructor gazes wistfully in my direction, sighs, and says out loud "That's disgusting."

I stare straight back at him, and point to myself and say "Me?"

He doesn't reply. Perhaps he hasn't heard me, so I slowly raise my hand up to my head and pull my toque off my head with a look of disdain.  

Now he's seen me though, and he says "NO, NO, The weather! The weather outside is disgusting."

PHEW.

Pretty sure he mumbled something about rainbow yarn under his breath though. WHY I AUGHTTAAAAAAA

Every time someone tells me "Cool story bro" I get all offended and start launching into another coolstorybro story about how my original story was indeed a cool story and then people say "Cool story bro" again. 

Crossover plotlines

Zelda has played a large part in my life lately. Free from exams at school for the last 2 weeks I've been getting more and more hours in on my AWFUL emulator, and lemme tell you I am a master at playing games with the arrow keys now. Y'all who actually have the N64 and use the joystick don't know how good you've got it.

But since Skyrim came out this weekend Matt insisted that I'd have fun making a character on it. I generally have more fun watching people play RPGs than actually play them, but I gave 'er a go and created a fantastic warrior nord woman with sweet purple war paint on her face. I KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE 'EM. I don't really get the ins and outs of Skyrim though, and having never played the previous games I'm a little lost. For the most part I'm having fun just taking stuff of desks and shelves, mainly apples and cabbages. I go outside and notice a chicken walking around, and I wanna take the chicken too. I've got my crosshairs on the chicken and I'm pressing A, A, A, AAAAAAA. But its not working.

DA HELL, SKYRIM.

"I WANT TO TAKE THE CHICKEN," I cry out.
"Its not Zelda, Larissa," Matt corrects me. Man after my own heart.

WHATEVER, simple mistake. Perhaps its for the best because those cuckoos throw a hell of a bitch fit anyway. PIC IS RELATED.

Good Talk

HEY GUYZ!

Blogging has been slow lately because once a month I suffer from a painful affliction where I... lead a really boring life.

Here is an anecdote to make it up to you:

A few days ago I found myself trapped in another painfully awkward conversation with my father, as I often do.

I suppose it stemmed from the fact I insinuated he was too old to appreciate the social advances that technology has brought to our lives.

I say this mostly because any sort of conundrum I find myself in my dad describes as being due to "That damn social media!" (Even if the issue was the vending machine taking my money, but IT PROBABLY HAD TO TO WITH FACEBOOK.)

Anyway, I guess I've managed to offend him.

"I KNOW HOW TO TEXT," he says. I know this much at least because sometimes he texts me at school saying internet broken. please fix.

To prove the aformentioned point to me, he lets me know that "Your mother and I sext all the time."

Dear god, no.

My mother pipes up: "Since when did we sext?"

"When you were away in the summer we sexted all the time," he says.

My mom scoffs, "What, like me telling you I miss you?"

A-HA! Mother-burn!

While writing this down in hindsight the situation seems funny, but at the time I wanted to NIP THIS CRAZINESS IN THE BUD, and I tell my father I don't want to hear them talk about sexting (for the love of all that is righteous and good.)

"Well did you use winky faces?" - Larissa

"I don't know how to make the winky face on my phone." - Father

"THEN IT ISN'T SEXTING. OKAY? GOOD TALK." - Larissa

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?

Y'know how some teen abstinence groups like to use the phrase "Sex changes everything"? Yeah, pretty sure winky face changes everything too. ;)

SEE? NOW ALL MY BLOG READERS THINK I WANNA BONE.
AND THE PIC ISN'T RELATED.