Passive aggressive

Dear diary:

On a typical day I spend 10 hours sitting at my desk. Probably for a good 4 of those hours, I am talking on the phone to clients. Lets keep in mind I am not an accredited legal professional. I am Larissa, wikipedia user extraordinaire. I really don't know shit about the law, but I try.

I AM BUT A MESSENGER.
This usually equates to clients being either:
a) Really nice to me, because I remind them of a wounded (yet friendly) young deer. I try to help people out as best I can (equating to warm fuzzy feelings inside of me, job well done, Larissa!) and usually people thank me for my time. And/or sometimes clients will bring me coffee for no reason, I'm everyone's favourite underqualified legal assistant.

OR

b) CLIENTS WILL BE REALLY FREAKING RUDE TO ME.
Its alright though. Because I'm not unemployeed, uneducated, have 3 kids and a failed commonlaw relationship that was based entirely on mutually using each other for financial security.
Wait, what?
Not that that's a specific case, really, but it sure seems to be a trend.

Point being:
I am not actually encouraged by my boss to be that friendly to people, but yes, I do have a heart, and I try to be as perky as possible. But to keep my head from exploding I will:

1. Highlight you in red on the phone log speadsheet. HAHA. Red means "DO NOT CALL BACK" and gives me mild satisfaction.

2. Say "Okay! :D Well have a good d---" and then hang up on you loudly. This works better than just hanging up, I feel, because interrupting myself mid-sentence means you definitely know that you just got hung up on.

3. In the case of people accusing me of being dumb, I will play dumb for you. I suddenly don't know anything, actually. I don't know. I don't know. I'll have to check and get back to you. Nope, I don't know when I can get back to you either. My head is full of poop!





And by popular demand (minus the popular. I've seen my page views, I'm writing to an empty audience,) here is a tidbit from my "Funny things my friends and I talk about" archive, because I love filing away my life into computer folders:

Kenneth - Apparently thats what cabbies do. My friend Misha told me he lost his phone and within a week had a $500 bill because of long distance calls to kenya. i'm an idiot haha

Larissa - Man, lesson learned though I guess. Hopefully the cell company doesn't fuck you.
I mean, unless you're lonely.



Tender lovin', tender lovin'.