Yesterday I hit a car stopped at a stop light.
THE SLOWEST HIT EVER. I just rollllllled into him at a good 5 km/h. No damage but he wanted to exhange information at the next residential turn-off. I agreed.
What I should have done, was just DRIVE AWAY.
Moral fibre: USELESS.
I'm hoping nothing comes of it, because not a scratch was left on either car.
BUT THATS NOT THE POINT of this blog entry:
DEAR DIARY (For real):
Yesterday Heather and I dressed up to the 9s and decided to go out for O'byrnes customer appreciation night.
We consumed many hot wings, and stable amounts of alcohol. All in all: a good night!
We decide to leave O'byrnes and head to the Billiard Club, and as we're crossing the street, a car drives by and "WOOOOOO"s at us.
Yeah, women in short dresses in winter, I know.
Anyway, he drives past us as he yells "YEAH LADIES! You're lucky I'm driving!"
Lucky because... if he wasn't driving he'd sexually assault us?
He keeps driving, and I yell "DON'T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME!"
This is a pretty staple line in my humour roster.
I figure this quick exchange is done with, and we keep crossing the street, when SUDDENLY
the car stops driving!
The driver must have pulled the e-brake, because he whips the car back around and starts driving towards us again!
Heather tells me not to yell at strange cars.
I say "RUN"
and promptly lose one of my heels in the snow.
Seriously? Ugh.
ALSO: Today my mother and I went to the Italian market for cheese and olives (my favourite!)
They have a bunch of other imported things there, like russian bottled water and lithuanian bread.
They also have an apparently popular candy from Germany: marzipan potatoes.
These things taste amazing, but it still strikes me as interesting that the Germans would think of making potato shaped candy. The kids go crazy for it!
Here is a communist russian joke: What did one potato say to the other?
Answer: Premise ridiculous, why have two potatoes?
Seriously, the realism of these potatoes is astounding. Go technology.
2 comments:
Why didn't you just stop? Hitting cars for fun... smh
Because I live life on the edge! Bitch was driving an infinity, my escort had to bring them down a few pegs.
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