Today I saved a worm.
Today I walked out of my door to go to work and saw a worm just doin' it's little worm dance on the sidewalk. I decided to engage in conversation with it (LIKE A CRAZY LADY) and says to the worm, I says:
"Worm, what are you doing on the sidewalk?"
Worm says nothing.
"Well I'll help you."
And I pick it up to put back in the dirt, but find myself overcome with the question of: was it going from the flower bed to the lawn, or the lawn to the flower bed? Or do worms even have the intelligence to make a decision of "POINT A TO POINT B, NOW!!"
I take a leap of faith and kick a little hole in the lawn to set the worm down in. Good deed for the day complete!
(Which means anyone else I ran into for the day was in for a WHOLE LOTTA BAD DEEDS.)
Naturally whilst driving to work I find myself feeling a little bit of guilt about if, hey, maybe the worm was actually trying to get from the lawn to the flower bed and I really hindered his efforts by putting him back on the lawn. But in all honesty, the little fucker was starting to dry out on the concrete, so nuts to him.
I often find myself feeling like a good citizen for helping to save defenseless insects but in all honesty, when a bumble bee gets stuck inside, and is relentlessly trying to fly through the window.. when that bumble bee refuses to GET IN MY DAMN CUP for transport to the outside world I just say "You are not cooperating, bee" and kill it.
I have a life to get on with.
Pic unrelated.
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