MAMA SAYS

I blog less and less lately because most interesting things in my life can be summed up in sentences short enough to go on Twitter.

Which means no one wants to read them anyway, RIGHT?

But for those who don't read my twitshit, I have summed up a recent twitter rant I'd like to share:

Why do guys feel the need to ask me if "___ inches is small?" What do I look like, the reigning authority on penis size?

How many penises do these people think I've seen? My standard response is "Totally, but I only sleep with amazon black men so I'm biased,"

a phrase I think was coined by the great HB. ITS NOT A PICK UP LINE, BOYS, ITS AN INSULT.

"Hey I herd u liek being a slut so I figured I'd ask your opinion on my penis length as you seem to be well versed in this subject."

My mother just told me "Well Larissa, you're either a shower or a grower!" "MOM I DO NOT WANT TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU."

...

Surely she's not the reigning authority either despite her factual tidbit. SO DON'T BOTHER ASKING HER EITHER, BOYS.