I feel like I may have told this story before, but a quick search of my blog tells me that I haven't so I simply must preach this cautionary tale:
REASONS TO NEVER OWN HERMIT CRABS
A couple years ago I owned 3 hermit crabs. It struck me as a good idea to ask for them for my birthday. I've had fish before and these guys seemed to require similar maintenance. I tried my best with the information at hand, but I realize in hindsight that properly taking care of hermit crabs requires specific dietary and humidity needs. Maybe this is why I am now plagued by re-occuring nightmares where I discover I own a fish/hamster/animal as a pet but it is now dying because of my lack of care. Guilt dreams, they will be the end of me.
WHOA, TANGENT. Lets get back on track here:
So I have 3 hermit crabs, and I tried my darndest to take care of these things. Even so I named them Crab 1, Crab 2, and Crab 3 so as to not get too attached. Despite this, Crab 3 is my favourite.
They live in a small terrarium with a wire mesh back and lid to it. The crabs enjoy climbing up the back wall of the terrarium and then incessantly 'plucking' at the mesh lid in the middle of the night. The noise becomes taxing on my nerves and I eventually move the crabs to another room.
Additional to this, the larger, stronger crab continually picks on the smaller crab, and I'm beginning to worry for it's safety. I begin yelling "LOVE EACH OTHER" when it gets too violent and all 3 crabs rapidly retreat into their shells. This makes me sound like a cruel crab-mama but I did take them out of their cage and feed them grapes/bananas and let them run laps in a cardboard box I'd set on the ground. Y'know, normal fun-fare crab stuff.
Good things seldom ever last though, and thus came about the death of Crab 1. This wasn't too traumatic of an event, as I noticed #1 stopped moving around one day, and when I went to pick it up, it's lifeless body fell out of it's shell. Saddened and slightly mortified by what hermit crabs look like out of their shells, I dispose of the body and carry on with life.
Then comes death of #2. This one was slightly more terrifying, perhaps brought on by the increased humidity I attempted to create in the tank. #2 hadn't emerged from it's little crab hut in a few days and when I attempted to investigate I found it dead, and unfortunately it had begun growing mold. Nevertheless I am not as shaken as with #1's death, since #2 was always the meaner crab of the group.
Life goes on for many weeks, and Crab 3 is livin' in luxury without having to be bullied by the other 2. Sometimes I take it out of it's tank and it sits in the palm of my hand while eating grapes. Despite how GOD DAMN CREEPY hermit crabs are, we form a bond. Every morning I wake up to change it's water and give it fresh food, and one morning before school I happened upon a terrible event:
I see the empty shell laying in the middle of the crab tank. Ecstatic I think perhaps Crab 3 has finally moved into one of the larger shells I've provided for it, but no, the other shells are empty. Suddenly I see a lone claw in the corner of the tank. WTF? As I take a quick scan of the scene I notice another claw in the opposite corner, along with legs strewn along the perimeter of the tank and finally, my limbless crab, dead behind the crab hut. With no time to thoroughly evaluate this situation I clean up the mess and head to university, vowing to never own hermit crabs again. The whole experience lasted around 6 months, and I can't tell if that's a sign of a successful crab venture or not, but I'm thinking its the latter.
Later I would do a little research and find out that this limb-shedding spectacle is indeed a "thing" for hermit crabs, wherein they go crazy and walk laps around their environment, gradually ripping off all their own limbs until they die.
HEY MAN, WE'VE ALL THOUGHT ABOUT DOING THAT, AM I RIGHT?
And that, gentle readers, is a species I no longer feel any kinship with. Even looking at a picture of #3 makes me shudder.
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