Equality for All

DEAR DIARY

Last night I attended the a birthday party at one of the local hot spots, by which I mean a billiards pub in a strip mall. S'HOW WE ROLL.

I'm at the bar buying the birthday girl, Elyse, a shot, when we are accosted by a young drunk man who wants to buy us some drinks.
We get into a lively conversation about my septum ring, and he's amazed how I can flip it up and be BUSINESS and then flip it down and be PARTY TIME. (His words, not mine.)
He makes me show the bartender.

ANYWAY
NEWAIZ
AnYwHo000000

I tell the guy we want some Dirty Hooker shots, which as far as I know is just red sour puss and vanilla ripple, but I love using the "No, the drink, not the ones under the bar" joke.
(The best thing about randoms at the bar is I get to use my golden jokes OVER AND OVER ON DIFFERENT PEOPLE)
((AND WHATS UP WITH AIRLINE FOOD?))

We drink the shots and at this point I guess he decides to figure out if Elyse or I are single, and he asks us where our boyfriends are.
Elyse points hers out right away, and I look around... I can't find mine.

IT DOESN'T MEAN I don't have a boyfriend, he's just not in my visual vicinity!
Let a man roam, I say!
But before I can account for my lack of male counterpart, the random figures me out:
"Wait a second.. you're a lesbian, aren't you!"
Elyse tells him that YES, YES SHE IS.

The guy erupts into self-congratulatory laughter: "I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!"
"Just because of my nose ring?" I say. C'mon man.
"You walked in with that girl with the short hair didn't you! She's your girlfriend!"

This guy has all the stereotypes down pat! JUST BECAUSE SHE HAS SHORT HAIR???

I decide to play this up a bit and pull the 'you better not be offended with my alternative lifestyle!' card. I let him know there's "NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LESBIAN OKAY?"
"No man, no man, that's awesome. A little of this, a little of that... Awesome." (Cue hand gestures to depict what this and that mean) ... and he high fives me, telling me to have a good night.





LATER I TALK TO ALIX, OUR FRIEND WITH THE SHORT HAIR:
"So that guy at the bar totally thinks you're my girlfriend and I didn't correct him. He's pretty creepy so I'm gonna need you to roll with it on this one."