Colloquialisms in 3D!

Colloquialisms.

Now that is a god damn good word.

I use it every so often, maybe 4 - 5 times a month.

One colloquialism I enjoy using is "Beggars can't be choosers." I often use it when someone asks me if they can borrow a pen, and I give them scissors instead, and they get all upset.

Hey man, beggars can't be choosers.

Imagine this:

HB and I decide to hit up our faaaaavourite go-to, O'Byrnes, for some 35cent wing night. Its moderately cold outside so obviously we sit on the patio because we are true Albertans.

We sit ourselves down on the edge of the patio right by the sidewalk, and enjoy our food over a rip-roaring conversation about how OUTSTANDINGLY AWESOME the new version of Blackberry Messenger is.

Its like going from Windows Messenger to MSN VERSION 7!

Ah-mazing.

Inbetween bites of food and tech-talk, I guess the local bum-folk have decided to rummage around, and a panhandlin' man pokes his head through the patio fence to ask us for money.

He says something along the lines of "Hey ladies can I have a 5 dollar bill?"

(BILL? THIS AIN'T VEGAS, BABY.)

Naturally HB stays cool and collected and I scream because I am the jumpiest person in this city.

I tell the guy I have no money. C'mon.

Because Heather has a heart she offers the guy a toonie and a loonie.

"I'd really rather have 6 dollars for a pizza sub from Subway" says the hobo.

"This is all I have," says Heather.

"Don't you have 3 toonies?"

"This is all I have."

"What about another 2 dollars?"

"This is all. I. Have." says HB.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY bargaining with us, crazyman?

Finally he pisses off. It took everything I had not to yell "BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS" because it would have been so perfect.

We resume eating our food, as HB grumbles:

"He could have gotten half a pizza sub for $3.75."

Beggin' ain't about profit. What a SWINDLER.

I mean, in a pinch... just get some ketchup.