Unfortunately, I say the dumbest things
ever
sometimes.
Here is a selection of one not-so-dumb and 2 stupid things I said yesterday
1. I was visiting Becky who's working at the Body Shop right now. Its her job to tell people passing the shop about the sale they had on, (a thankless job) so I was waiting with her to bring up the mood.
2 fourteen year old girls walk past, one in this massive poofy Ed Hardy jacket (What, did her parents pay 300 bucks for it?)
Becky says: "Hey have you heard about our sale going on today?"
The girls keep walking, and Ed Hardy turns her head, and in the most sassy pink-lipglossed way possible says UM, WE'RE GOOD THANKS.
EXCUSE ME, MADAM.
Becky and I stand there for a second thinking what the hell her problem is.
Considering I love yelling at strangers, I don't skip more than a beat
"WELL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE WEARING ED HARDY DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOOOOOOOL"
Which I realize is just as immature, but LARISSA: 1. WORLD: <1 div="">
2. I managed to mess up the front wheel on my car, which I have previously mentioned is a gorgeous 1997 ford escort; seafoam green, cracked headlight. Hell yes.
I think trying to skid out of my cul de sac this evening might have done it. (In hindsight, yeah, escorts can't really skid, drift, or anything remotely fun.)
So Becky, Heather, Elyse and I are at a local pub for kareoke last night, and I say, louder than I intend, as per usual, "So I fucked up my escort tonight"
Pause for though.
"Well, the one with wheels."
I MEAN, if there was any confusion, bar patrons; you know I don't beat my whores!
3. I bought nice new white high heeled boots yesterday. I wore them out, and as Elyse and I are playing pool, Becky and Heather are commenting on my boots from their table. They've been telling me they aren't very becoming boots all evening.
"Larissa, those are "fuck me" boots." - Becky
Not missing an opportunity for an inappropriate joke, I say back:
"Good, let 'em at me," or something along those lines.
We all laugh a little and I continue my game.
A few minutes later, the guys playing at the other pool table decide to leave, and as one passes me, he says "Hey, I like your boots"
"THANKS :D" says Larissa. See, they aren't awful boots at all! This guy just complimented them.
I mention this to the girls.
UNANIMOUS OPINION:
"Larissa, he said that because he heard what you said about the boots."
"WHAT? I thought he just liked them!" - Larissa
"God you are so dumb sometimes, for a really smart girl" - Becky
"I thought I said it quietly :(" - L
"No. No you are very loud."
Its a curse.
Coincidentally I did NOT sing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" last night at kareoke.
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